Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog (John Grogan) Rating: Comment: Dog lovers can easily identify with this story. The author celebrated the life of Marley with 3 million over readers! You never how much a dog, which is very much an integral part of a family, make a difference until they are no longer around.

Just finish the book “Marley & Me“. This is a simple book, telling the life of Marley, a labrador retriever with his family. Dog owners and lover can easily identify with the book. It help me to recall all the good times of Toby as well. There’re times where some will think I am probably too emotionally attached to the dog, but this book really identify with my family feelings of losing our beloved pet. We never know how much a dog plays a part in your family, until when he no longer around.

My family likes to gather in my room aka Toby’s room. Everytime my sister come back, the first stop will be to my room, to say hello to Toby. Often you find him change in one motion from sleeping to jumping around. My mother often come into my room to have a chat with him and feed him medicine, and his first reaction will be to bark at my mother, because he doesn’t like eating medicine. Even til his last day, he repeated the same feat jump off the bed and bark at my mum. From there he will tail me all around the house, refusing to be leave alone… So now it is weird, no one tailing me, no dog barking at my mother, my sister find the new routine of coming to my room a little awkward…

Dog is an extremely loyal animal. I used to have another dog, called Bobby, he will sent you to the bus stop, wait with you. Ensure you board the bus, before he goes home. But they are often the most neglected one in the family, sometimes we play with them when we want, when we are busy we chuck them aside. But they love their owners unconditionally. Many people is not aware of the commitment it takes care of a dog. They are forever babies, entirely dependent on you! And the tough thing is you will almost always outlive your pet, so you got to be brave to face the day when he/she say goodbye! Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to finding another family friend aka dog.

I am trying hard to adjust to without toby in my daily routine, especially sleeping, coz he’s has been sharing my bed since we moved to the new house last year. I always pet him before I sleep. Everytime, my sister and I see the video of Toby, somehow, we get all emotional again, because how he faded away so fast, was really a hard blow … The week before it happen, I was so busy with work, i didn’t had a chance to really play with him, which I very much regretted. He was still scratching me and standing on his hind legs when i was busy crunching some codes on my computer. Now, staying at home has a very empty feeling seeing all the corners that toby loves to hang out.

Was talking to my mum, she’s finding it tough to keep anything of Toby, while i am trying to collect everything I have of him. I kept his 4 T-shirts, to avoid my mum thinking so much of it. I dress up by pooh bear, piglet, eee-ore and tigger in the 4 Ts… And placed them in Toby one-day bed.

Today, I took leave to really sleep, because i hardly had a wink since saturday morning. I woke up early and did a lot of souveniers on snapfish.com.sg to remember toby:

• A1 Poster
• A3 Poster
• Key Chain
• Mug
• A collection of 150 photos of him

They will come on friday . I think i will wait for everyone to get over him, before I put them in my room. So now I only have a A3 poster to remember him. But slowly i am accepting it, because I know we all treasured the years we had with him more than this moment of loss.

It was a tough decision. Today toby, faded away quickly after he was discharge from Mount Peasant. On the way home, he started crying out. Worried, and after much research the day before, we decided to bring to Animal Recovery Vet Centre in Balestier. I must say they are very professional. They quickly did a blood test etc on Toby. But the episode of Toby whining become more and more. The thing they did in 20 mins, was probably more than everything that Mount Peasant did for us. Trust me, never bring ur pet there for critical emergency. All they can do is treat the symptons and do nothing, and sent you back to your vet. Go straight to balestier. I regret. Last night before I left toby, he still can sit, he was still awake.

The next day, we went there, after “much care”, Toby was very sedated, we carry him like a baby back to the car. I arranged for an appointment at Balestier to have quick follow up for him. The nurse at the mount peasant still can tell me to sent him to the vet in today or tomorrow. Before, we even hit the highway, Toby started whining loudly again and this time the episode is getting intense. We quickly admitted him to Balestier. Seeing what they done for toby in such a short hour, i was very impressed and feel he is in safe hands. So i left to accompany my mother for medical review.

Shortly when i was collecting medication for my mum, the doctor called, said that Toby had a cardiac arrest. I went back to see him, my mum was near breaking point, and looking at how much toby was whining til he has no strength, and the blood he cough up due to the water and blood storing up in his lung. I decided in my heart, i probably had to be brave to let him go. Sad to say from the night before he was still up on his fit til today, he hardly could moved. I regreted very much sending him to Mount Peasant, for $1,100, he probably just got emergency treatment that’s all. I spend $800 at balestier, they evaluated him quickly but sad to say it was all too late. I quickly sent my mum back home, knowing she will not be able to take my decision to let him go.

After discussing with my family , and much persuasion, i told my mother the truth, toby will never come home again. My sister, Emily & I went back to the clinic, to be with Toby for his last day. We stroke him, took photos with him. Despite all his weakness, he muster his strength to bring his head and feet up to have a last look at us. But he contiune to whine now every other second. So we make the painful decision, I signed the form. They gave us a room, to spend our last moments with him, we stroke him, we make sure he knows we are with him. Finally the doctor came, we stayed through with him, and he quietly went. Seeing him whine like how he did, break my heart knowing he’s in great pain more than seeing him going away in peace. So the choice was made a little easy once we know that’s was no hope to hope for.

We spend another 10 minutes, with toby, i huddle him one last time, play with ears like I always do, and kiss him goodbye. The pain of losing him hits me the moment i step up of the clinic. No more toby to scratch me in the early morning, scraching my blanket to find a comfortable slot… no more tailgating by him, no more of him sleeping near my side. But i for sure know he’s in a better place, and hopefully one day we will meet in heaven! Luv you toby!

Poor toby, he had a 2nd fit today, then the 3rd fit on the way to the hospital. So overwhelming… he was having fits while in my arms… i really could not hold back my tear on the cab to the hospital. Thank God this time, it happen around 10 p.m. just before the emergency hours.. if not we will be paying another $250 emergency fees again. But poor toby at the rate that he is having fit.. one a day.. they need to stabilise him. And most probably the cause is due to his petite brain, and nothing much can do to cure except to control. He hasn’t eat all day, so they put him on drip… Each time he fits, it can causes him brain damage. Since yesterday he no longer follow me everywhere i go like he usually do… except one or two times… I probably have to start mentally preparing myself without UNCLE Toby…. scratching me early in the morning… sob sob… but we have to be brave, one day we may need to let him go if really cannot have a good quality life anymore. Though i know he will miss my family and me…. Luv Toby… Take care in the hospital.

Toby, sleepy on his new bed…

Today, Toby boy has really become Uncle Toby. This morning at 7 a.m., he had a fit attack, that awoken my whole family. I was just sleeping beside him, seeing how he struggle, pant and wail really breaks my heart to see. But one thing the vet said really make me feel better. At the age of Toby, grand old age of 15. each day he lives a comfortable day is a blessing! The clinic people thought he is 15 months old because of his petite and cute frame. He maybe even older, because i can’t remember when he shifted to my house. He’s my only pet that stayed in all the houses i have stayed in, from Kembangan to Tampines to Changi Green to Tampines to My Current place. He has given 15 years of wonderful memories.

I remember when he first came to my house, who already own a dog, Fifi, it was tough to accept this new addition, because he always bullies fifi, he was very fierce, due to his previous owner abuses… and I kind of like fifi more… heee. But since fifi was gone 6 years ago, Toby has really been our family companion. He has been there through all our turbulent and shift. But he remains a strong integral of my family. Even stamping his authority and demanding to sleep in my room, by barking every night for attention until he is allow into my room. Scratching my face, early morning when he wants to get out of the room.

Anyway, it seems that the older he get, the more mellow he becomes, the more cute and adorable he has become and he seems to enjoy company more these day. In the past, he can only accept attention from one person, and the rest are his enemies that he barks at… Now everyone is he friends..

Anyway, while going to the hospital, he still manage to find such a good spot on my sister gloomy bear..here a little photo of it. Meanwhile i cherish each day Uncle Toby has with us…